


Cherry Wine

by ladyblrd



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 90'S, Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bisexual Dean, Dean is openly bi, Destiel - Freeform, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, M/M, Physical Abuse, Sad Ending, Smut, no one dies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-07-29 04:46:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7670653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyblrd/pseuds/ladyblrd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Novak had his life made up from the moment his parents saw his potential. He was going to become a lawyer and move to Boston, leaving whatever he had in the suburban part of Los Angeles to marry whoever girl made business easier. Period. Cas grew up with nothing more than an average life style planned to his future, knowing that he wasn’t exactly worthy anything or anyone happening in his life that was at least exciting.<br/>Dean Winchester never had thought about the possibility of settling down with someone he truly loved, someone who he could have lazy Sunday morning with, someone who he could sing and play guitar to and someone who were up to fun adventures with him. Dean’s life was inconstant; school, friends, relationships, feelings… considering that, he never thought that someone who could make him feel constant would happen in his life. He wasn’t exactly worth it anyways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!  
> this is the first fanfic i'm actually posting so i plan on posting every wednesday? lets hope i can keep this going  
> my twitter is @halseybullshit so u know who to call if u need anything - i mean it.  
> i hope you enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing!  
> have funnnn  
> -lia

        “You know how much you need to concentrate and focus on your objectives, right Castiel? No one is able to move to Boston and become a lawyer without having their priorities straight. This is why, more than in any other year, you need to know exactly why you’re doing everything you do; you need to focus on what matters and dismiss the rest. No distractions. Are you… are you listening?”

         “I’m sorry?” Castiel’s blue eyes looked up for the first time ever since that conversation started.

         “Did you pay attention on anything I said?” his mom asked, with a concerned look.

         “Uhh, yes. Yes, sure. Absolutely. No… distractions, right?” He asked, hoping he was right.

         Mrs. Novak simply sighed and massaged her temples, making Castiel shrug his shoulders shyly and look down again.

         “Go upstairs. Your father will be home soon.” Mrs. Novak said dryly and Castiel quickly left the table with a low “excuse me”.

         He went upstairs, directly to his room and sat on his bed. _Why did everything felt so wrong?_ He shouldn’t be feeling that way. Last year of high school, he was graduating and following his dream of becoming a lawyer in Boston. _Or his parents’ dream?_ What was he even thinking about? Of course it was his dream too. He was meant to do that. He needed to do that.

         Ever since Castiel was a child he knew what he was going to do with his life and made sure every decision he made directed him to that. There was always a tiny voice in his head that kept telling him that was not what he wanted. And now, more than ever, that voice’s words were really getting to him.

         What if he died unhappy? What if he married someone he didn’t love? What if he realized hallway through his career that was not what he wanted? Thinking about all of that made him want to throw up, or scream. Maybe both. 

         He didn’t have a lot of friends, but the ones he had didn’t really know the real Castiel. _Hell, not even Castiel knew the real Castiel._ That was someone who knew his future was wrong, someone who knew what wanted to do, someone who was marrying whoever the fuck made him happy and someone who could say “No” to his parents when he had to.  But sadly, things were not like this.

         Cas’ family was not as good, healthy and functional as it seemed to be. Michael and Naomi Novak were married against their will, only with the purpose of helping the business of their parents, who were in the same company. “When we die you two can do whatever you want with your lives.” Their parents said to the young unfortunate couple. But when that finally happened, Gabriel, Cas’ brother, was 3 months away from being born, and it was too late to make such a big change now. More than 20 years of an unhappy marriage couldn’t result in good things.

         Castiel had good grades, didn’t went to many parties, and had 3 friends he could actually trust. His life were already made up and he didn’t had a lot of rights when it came to going against the perfect plan.

That was going to be his life, and if he had sure of one thing it was that nothing big enough to change his future was going to happen. He didn’t deserve it anyways.


	2. one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooooo  
> dont forget to read the prologue guys!!  
> enjoy :)

          **Los Angeles**

**January, 2014**

It was the first day of senior year and Castiel Novak planned on graduating, moving to Boston and becoming a lawyer.

         He got up from the bed and sighed. _That was it then, the last year of high school_. His phone marked 6:40 am, as class only started at 7:10 and Cas’ house was about 10 minutes away from school, he took his time on taking a shower, changing his clothes, brushing his teeth and having breakfast.

         Castiel opened the front door and a cold wind hit his face, making the blue-eyed boy shiver and putting his hands impossibly deeper on his sweater’s pockets.

         It was a cold morning and Castiel started to walk faster, for the first time in the last month actually wishing he were inside Belmont High School, knowing there it would be a lot warmer. Cas got closer enough to see the building and the students, memories from the past years passing by his mind like a movie.

         Castiel wasn’t necessarily popular. People knew who he was, making himself a reference because of the amazing grades he’d get – rewarding the hard work. Claire – his cousin, Charlie and Alex were the only people he considered his actual friends, since they all immersed the hell that was High School together.

         The four of them kept a routine of talking in between classes and having lunch together, on the weekends always ending up going to the movies or some ice cream place.

         “Cas!” Charlie screamed as her wide eyes met the blue ones. She ran into Castiel, embracing him in a warm hug. He quickly wrapped his arms around her waist and squeezed the smallest girl.

         “If my parents ever decide to go on some weird ‘let’s go meet Europe!’ trip I swear to God… I missed you way too much, Cassie.” Charlie sighed happily, pulling away from the hug and running her hands through Cas’ slightly messy hair.

         “I missed you too, Charlie. Summer was boring without your screaming.” He smiled at her, playfully running his hands through her red hair too.

         “If it’s not baby-blue-eyes!” Claire exclaimed as she and Alex got closer to Cas and Charlie. Claire wrapped her arms around Castiel’s neck, smiling as he pulled away.

         “Novak, is it just me or you got even hotter?” Alex playfully added as she hugged his waist, later feeling Cas’ hands on her back.

         “Shut up, Alex. How was summer?” He asked the girls, as they entered the school hallways, murmuring “hi”s and “hello”s to whoever was familiar.

         “Good! You already know that Charlie explored Europe, but me and Charlie went to her parent’s lake house and spent pretty much all summer there.”

         Cas and Charlie looked at each other maliciously, getting the other girls’ attention.

         “Oh no. No no no. Don’t give us this ‘we know you were actually fucking during all summer’ look!” Claire said defensively, as Alex rolled her eyes.

         “Char, did you hear anyone mentioning any fucking?” Cas asked ironically.

         “No Cas, I didn’t.” Charlie answered in the same tone. “So you two are imposing this yourselves!”’

         Alex playfully elbowed the red-haired girl’s stomach, just before they heard the bell ringing and the four of them groaned annoyed.

         “Could this shit be _possibly_ any louder? It’s too early, jeez.” Claire threw her head back and squeezed her eyes shut, wishing that that stupid bell would shut up already.

         “I got Mr. Anderson now. Wish me luck!” Castiel said as he walked towards his classroom, listening to the girls’ supportive comments about the boring class he was about to endure.

         He opened the door and saw one only guy in there, sleeping. Cas was surprised; he was usually the first to get in. He sat next to the sleeping person, who was snoring slightly. As he got closer, Castiel grew even more confused for not recognizing the leather jacket he was wearing.

         Students were quickly entering the classroom, some having small talk with Cas and some simply nodding, too tired to have any sort of conversation.

         Mr. Anderson didn’t like sleeping in his class. At all. Which didn’t make any sense, considering that looked like the guy dedicated his life to giving the most boring classes he could and getting pissed at anyone who closed their eyes for more than 3 seconds. That was what made Cas try to wake up the leather jacket sleeping dude.

         “Hey.” Castiel said with a low voice.

         Nothing

         He got closer to the guy next to him, repeating “Hey” a little louder.

         As he opened his eyes, he revealed to Cas the most beautiful tone of green he had ever seen in his life.

         “This is Mr. Anderson’s class. Believe me, you don’t want to be caught sleeping; at least not in here.” Castiel said worriedly.

         The guy smiled softly and sincerely, taking his head off the desk and yawing, rubbing his eyes.

         In that moment, Mr. Anderson entered the classroom, the bad mood being clearly noticed after he let out a loud groan.

         “You’re new here. I’ve never seen you around.” Cas whispered, his attention being caught by the sleepy man’s beauty.    

         “Yep. Came all the way from Kansas.”

         “I’m Castiel Novak. Cas, actually.” He offered his hand to him, who kindly accepted and shook it strongly. “Dean Winchester, nice to meet you Cas.”

         Their eyes met, both of them not listening to whatever the teacher was talking about, too focused discovering new tones of blue and green they didn’t know it was possible to be so bright in someone’s eyes.

         “Oh! Good to see you too are buddies already.” Mr. Anderson said ironically. “You two are pairing today; Novak you explain W… Win…”

         “Winchester.” Dean said clenching his jaw.

         “Yeah, that. You explain Winchester how things work here. Just… don’t get too friendly and shit. Start by leaving the hand holding to outside the class.”

         Dean and Cas looked at their own hands, who were still in the previously friendly shook position, quickly separating themselves and laughing afterwards.

**//**

         “So,” Charlie popped out of nowhere. “Who is that hot piece of ass I saw you talking to in class?”

         Castiel almost dropped the book he was taking out of his locker with his friend’s sudden appearance, and blushed with the way she described Dean.

         “He’s new. His name is Dean.”

         “Oh… I see. And has this ‘Dean’ invited you to a date yet?”

         Cas raised his eyebrows and smiled. “No, and he won’t. Don’t get your hopes too high, I know you’re trying to find me a boyfriend or whatever but Dean and I _just_ met each other.”

         “That won’t stop me. God, Cas. It doesn’t even looks like you’ve known me for your entire life!” Charlie said as she started walking away from Castiel.

         “I met you two years ago!” Cas laughed at his friend, who turned around to face Cas and winked at him before running back to her classroom.

         The whole sexuality thing really didn’t matter to Cas. At all. He liked people in general, human beings. Dean was hot, that he had to give it to him. But there was something more than green in those eyes; adoration, serenity, _love_. Something that caught his attention and was never intending on letting go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading!  
> let me know what u thought on the comments, and if there is anything u think i should know, my twitter is  
> @halseybullshit  
> -lia


	3. two

**January, 2014**

         The Winchesters were walking towards school, with too much shit in their heads for barely 8 am . Even though Dean was too busy with his own mind, he did notice his younger brother’s discomfort.

         “Hey kiddo, is everything alright?” He asked, but Sam simply nodded and continued walking.

         Dean put a hand on his shoulder, making Sam stop and turn to look at his brother.

         “What’s the matter?” Dean insisted again, trying to catch any clue from Sam’s facial expression. Nothing.

         “I said I’m good. Can we go?” Sam had a pleading face. Dean sighed and kneeled down, so he could face his brother.

         “C’mon, Sammy. What’s wrong?”

         “I just…” Sam rolled his eyes. “I don’t like this. At all. Being the new kid sucks, I miss my friends, I miss Kansas and… we’re so far away from home.”

         Dean knew that. He knew how hard it was for his brother, but things started happening and suddenly both of them were starting a whole new life, more than 2.000 km away from their old one.

         “Look I know that this is hard for you. And I know that is my fault but listen,” Sam looked at Dean. “I’ll make it up to you, okay? I promise. This year is not going to be that bad.”   

         He got up and run his hands through Sam’s already long hair, messing it a little. They continued their way to school, Sam going to his classroom and Dean to his.

         Truth is, Dean was already exhausted.

He hated moving, hated leaving his comfort zone and hated having to make new friends and all of that bullshit. It was even worse, him being held back at his last school on Kansas, made everything even more embarrassing than it already had to be.

He went towards his classroom, and being gladly the first student to arrive, he picked his seat and set his things down. The main idea was just resting his head for a bit, before the day actually started, but he ended up actually falling asleep.

**//**

“So, how is the day going so far?” Sam slightly jumped when he saw Dean standing there after he closed his locker.

“Uhh… good I guess. I met this super nice girl, her name is Sarah!” His little eyes lit up after remembering it.

“You’re barely the new kid and already have a girlfriend? That’s my boy!” Dean jokingly hit his brother’s shoulder, making Sam give some steps back.

“Shut up. She’s not my girlfriend she’s just… I don’t know, nice.”

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around, meeting Cas’ ridiculously blue eyes.

“You’re having lunch with us, right?”

Dean was hypnotized for a few seconds, being so close to Castiel, but he managed to give him a quick and shaky “Yeah, yeah. Sure.”

“Good.” Cas looked at Sam. “Hey, you’re Sam right? I’m Cas.”

The kid managed to hold a smirk back, his not wanting to seem too obvious. “Hey.” He shyly introduced himself.

“I’ll see you there, then.” Cas gripped a little tighter on Dean’s shoulder before leaving the brothers alone. Dean wished he hasn’t, though.

“You’re blushing.” Sam noticed, now finally smirking.

His brother looked at him in pure embarrassment. “You shut your mouth.”

“Is this Cas ‘nice’ just like Sarah is?” Sam kept making fun of his brother discomfort; it was hilarious to him.

         Dean rolled his eyes and left Sam laughing on his own, directing himself to the cafeteria. When he got there, he quickly saw Cas sitting with four girls and two guys.

         Castiel met Dean’s eyes, and got up from the table walking towards him.

         “Hi, I saved you a seat over there, grab some food and I’ll introduce you to them alright?”

         Dean looked over Cas’ shoulder, seeing that everyone in the table was looking at the both of them. He could swear that a dark-haired girl smiled and raised her eyebrows maliciously.

         “Yeah. Yeah, okay alright.” Dean looked at Cas again, who was smiling softly. Truth is, Dean it didn’t take too much effort to notice how pretty Castiel was. His bright blue eyes complemented his dark hair, his nose was delicate, his lips in a delicious pink-ish tone.

         It took longer than it did in his old school to get his food and join Cas and his friends in their table, as he approached he noticed there was an empty seat next beside Castiel.

         “Hey.” Dean said as he sat down, bringing everyone’s attention to himself; which made him slightly uncomfortable.

         Cas took a bite of his fries before actually introducing Dean to his friends:

         “Guys, that’s Dean. He just moved here from… Kansas?” he waited Dean’s nod before carrying on. “Dean, these are Alex, my cousin Claire, Bela, Charlie, Benny and Adam.”

         They all smiled at Dean, and he couldn’t help but notice how _nice_ they all seemed. He was used to being friends with the “popular” kids, and he Dean was honestly so fucking tired of that. He wanted real friends, and Belmont High might give that to him.

         “So Dean, without meaning to be rude, why are you here? I mean, Kansas to L.A is a pretty big change of atmosphere.” Claire asked, taking a sip from Alex’s soda.

         “The company my dad works for wanted him to come here for a long time now, so me being held back on my old school made the decision pretty easy.”

         “Oh, I see. How are you liking the city of angels so far?”

         “I haven’t got time to explore much, so I don’t really know the city yet.” Dean took a small bite from his food. “But I will, though.”

         “But you went to the beach right?” Castiel’s eyes were sparkling as he looked at Dean, expecting an answer.

         “Cas has this thing for the beach. He loves it.” Charlie got closer to Dean from across the table and winked, like that was some sort of high matter information. She noticed Cas’ eye roll. “What? I’m just letting him know that he’ll have to get used to it.”

         “Okay, okay. Enough talking about how _geographically amazing_ Los Angeles is.” Adam said as he pulled Charlie by her arm, making her sit down again. “How are you liking the people so far, Dean? Hell, do you even know anyone else in here beside us?”

         “Not really…” Dean thought for a few seconds. “No. I don’t know anyone else.”

         “Lucky you!” Benny said excitedly. “There’s a party coming, next month I guess. Where everyone just kind of meets everyone again. You’re going with us, and you’re meeting new people.”

         Yeah.  A party would be nice. Dean could do a party.

         “We’re actually going to the beach today after school, if you wanna join us?” Cas remembered as he looked at the rest of his friends, waiting for their reactions.”

         “Oh, right.” Adam started. “We always go to the beach on the first day of school. Come with us.”

         Dean agreed on going with them, and suddenly all of his next classes were extremely long and exhaustive. _He just wanted to fucking leave already._ It was only the first day, and school had never felt so natural to Dean before. Cas and his friends were easy-going people.

         The bell ringed loudly, letting everyone know that the day was finally over. Dean saw Castiel standing on the stairs in front of the school, looking up. His glasses made it slightly difficult to know which blue was from the sky and which was from his eyes.

         “Hey,” Dean getting Cas’ attention. “Are we waiting for the rest or…?”

         “They’re not going with us anymore, actually. I think that something happened to Benny’s truck and they’re fixing it or whatever.” Cas explained as he pulled his glasses up.

         “So I guess it’s just you and me?” Dean asked as he started to walk down the stairs, looking over his shoulder to see if Cas was following him.

         “It’s just you and me.”


	4. three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things start to get a bit rough from now on, so please if you have something with abuse PLEASE stop reading, i dont want enyone feeling bad.

**February, 2014**

**_TW: abuse_ **

As they walked to the beach together, shoulders slightly brushing and feet close to each other, Cas was showing the neighborhood to Dean.

         The coffee shop, the tattoo place, the small stores, the movies, the ice cream place…

         “Where is your house?” Dean asked, the bother that the sunlight was causing in his eyes made him look down again, not being able to look at Castiel.

         He didn’t seem comfortable with answering that question, putting his hands on his pockets and biting his bottom lip.

         “I live about 1o minutes from school.”

         “Tell me about your family, Cas.” Dean started, forcing himself to look up. “How are your parents? Any brothers? Sisters? A dog?”

         Cas laughed, the sound mixing itself with the weaves at the beach as they were pretty close.

         “I have one brother, Gabriel. He’s studying History at UCLA. He’s nice, we don’t fight too much, helps me with homework.” Dean didn’t took his eyes off of Cas, and kept nodding.

         “My parents… they… my dad he, uh… look, there’s nothing else to say about Jimmy and Naomi Novak other than that they work a lot, and we don’t exactly talk.”

         “I see. Well, I have a brother – whose you’ve already met,” Cas smiled softly as he remembered Sam’s shiny little eyes as he looked at them. “My old man works with cars, but not the fun part; the boring and that contains lots of numbers part.”

Castiel laughed at him once again as they arrived at the beach. Cas stared at Dean’s amazed expression as he saw the beautiful sunlight reflecting on the sparkling ocean, the sand was almost white and the palm trees seemed to be as tall as the skyline Dean had saw multiple times in Kansas.

         “Wow.” That was the first thing that came out of his mouth after a few seconds. “This is… holy shit, Cas.”

         “I know.” Cas smiled proudly, like that part of the beach belonged to no one but him.

         “Where is everyone else, thought?”

         “This is where I usually come. I found this more reserved area when I was about 15. No one comes here except me, so it’s nice and quiet.” Cas ran his hand through the piece of hair the wind had put right in front of his eyes. “Shall we get closer to the sea?”

         Dean simply nodded, still in shock; that was the man’s first time seeing an actual beach. Saying he was stunned was not even close to actually describing.

         Cas took his dirty white converses off, while Dean took his brown boots. The feeling of the sand against their toes made Dean and Cas look at each other, bright smiles across their faces.

         Once they found a good place to sit down and relax, Cas took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It all felt so good, so peaceful. Away from school and his house, it all seemed perfect. And there was Dean too.

Cas didn’t usually take anyone to that side of that beach, preferring his own silence, but Dean didn’t made Castiel uncomfortable – not even close to that. It felt good with Dean, even better.

“You know what I love the most about the ocean?” Cas started, opening his eyes and looking at the blue immensity right in front of him. “It is commonly accepted that the sea is a beautiful thing, most people love it. But there are _so much_ that we don’t know about it.”

That caught Dean’s attention. He stopped looking at the sea and looked at Cas, only then realizing how pretty he looked at that moment. The afternoon sunlight made his face look slightly orange, hair moving according to the wind’s direction and his cheeks were rosy as peach. Castiel looked gorgeous.

“Like love?” Dean asked, trying to understand Cas’ point.

Blue eyes were now looking at Dean as well, a surprised expression forming in his face.

“Yeah. Just like love.”

         It was a windy, but sunny weather, so the sun made Cas roll his sleeves up. That was when Dean noticed the bruises next to his elbow.

         “Shit, man. Where did you get this?”

         Castiel’s face fell as he looked down at his own arms, quickly covering the bruises again.

         “That? Oh no, it’s nothing.” His voice was slightly trembling as Cas played with his fingers nervously.

         A smirk started to form on Dean’s lips, and he raised his eyebrows.

         “Oh… so I see that Castiel Novak likes a fight, huh?” he playfully elbowed Cas, who laughed softly and looked down trying to count the shells.

         “Are you not telling me? Really? _C’moooon_!” Dean rolled his eyes dramatically. “Look, it’s okay if you have your secrets. I have mine too! But if we want to be friends them at least just…”

         “It’s better if you don’t know, alright?” Cas spat, breathing deeply after speaking louder than he intended.  “Besides, the way I got these was not even half as cool as you think.”

         Dean smiled.

         “You can’t win everything, can you?” He looked at Castiel once again, before laying on his back and admiring how the now purple sky seemed so light-weighted over them.

**//**

**April, 2014**

         As usual, Castiel was waiting for everyone else in the locker room to leave before taking his clothes off and getting into the shower.

He explained himself saying he didn’t like getting naked in front of too many people, and everyone else seemed to buy that. _How dumb can people be?_ Once again, that entered in the “It’s better if you don’t know” category.

That plan was working just fine, no one has ever seen or suspected anything.

But then, that one day happened.

As Cas stepped out of the hot shower, he found himself alone and comfortable. He put his boxers on and quickly dried his hair with his towel, the icy April weather made him shiver and look faster for his sweater, trying as hard as he could not to look at purple and yellow marks trailing his arms.

 “Hey Cas I was wondering if you needed a ride to next week’s part…” Dean froze as he looked at Cas’ practically naked body.

It was all there. The bruises down his arms, legs and torso. His sharp hipbones looking as fragile as the shells they collected 3 days ago at the beach. His knuckles were as red as his tongue Dean wished so many times so suck, and to feel against his neck. All the proves from the abusive relationship Castiel had with his father, which he tried to hide for so long, were as purple as the sunset they watched together multiple times.

“Dean-”

“Who did this to you?”

“Dean please let me…”

Dean got closer to Castiel, not daring to look further than down his collarbones. His green eyes were slightly teary, Cas noticed. Why? He was the one supposed to be crying. But it was worse than that.

Castiel couldn’t breath, or cry, or move. His mouth and throat were dry, hands shaking and nothing but panic filling his brain.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Was your dad who did this? That’s why you didn’t told me anything about your family?” Dean’s voice was calm and low, almost like a whisper.

Castiel nodded shakenly, feeling the tears start to form, blurring his vision.

“You _know_ you could’ve told me, right?”

Cas didn’t answer, he just kept looking down, feeling the tears on his cheeks.

“Cas.” Dean tried again. “ _Please,_ ” Dean slowly placed his finger below Cas’ wet chin, lifting his head and meeting the not so shiny blue eyes. “I want you to know that you can trust me, alright? With anything; from girls or boys to not being sure about what get for lunch.”

Castiel looked at the green eyes and for a few seconds, the blue didn’t seem so much like broken ice anymore.

Cas’ eyes were cold. A cold tone of blue, almost _icy._ But, somehow, they always made Dean feel warm whenever he found them looking back at him.

 “I’ve never told anyone – so don’t worry, not personal - ‘cause I’m scared people may think I’m too chaotic and leave.” Cas confessed and turned around to grab his sweater revealing more bruises, making Dean sick to his stomach.

“Well, I’m not leaving you, alright?” Cas looked up at him in shock. “Yeah. We’ll work through this together. I promise.” Dean sincerely smiled and licked his lips before continuing:

“I guess it’s just you and me.”

Cas smiled softly, remembering where that sentence came from; the first time they went to the beach together. Dean was actually passing Castiel a feeling of trust and care, something he hasn’t received in years. That brought to him a weird feeling in his stomach – like it had became a shaken up bottle of soda.

“I guess it’s just you and me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!  
> twitter: @halseybullshit  
> -lia


	5. four

**April, 2014**

Days went on, and Dean kept his promise.

         He didn’t leave Cas. Actually, they were closer than ever, something both of them didn’t thought it would happen so quickly. Routine was something Cas liked it a lot, and the one he had with Dean made everything naturally fall onto place:

         Things like waiting for each other to enter the classes they had together, eating together, quick meetings on the hallways and leaving school together were things that happened on a daily basis; always with big bright smiles across their faces.

         “How do I look?” Cas said leaving Dean’s bathroom. “This is better, right?”

         Dean took the guitar off his chest and sat straight on his bed, looking at Castiel – who blushed a little with the way the green eyes travelled through his whole body.

         “Looking good, Cas.” He said smiling softly.

         “How about you? Aren’t you getting dressed?”

         Dean furrowed his eyebrows and looked down to his own body.

         “I _am_ dressed.”

         Cas snorted, making Dean roll his eyes. Castiel went to his closet and started to look through –what seemed endless- amount of old band t-shirts and leather jackets.

         “Jesus, Dean. Do you have anything that is not Led Zeppelin or leather in here? My God…”

         Dean smirked and started to play the accords of Stairway to Heaven on his guitar, only to mess with Castiel, looking up to see Cas rolling his eyes and throwing a pair of jeans, a grey shirt and a black and red flannel towards him.

         “Now you put that guitar down and get dressed.” Green eyes kept looking up, with a playful smirk crinkling their sides. “Go!” Cas said laughing. “C’mon, take your shirt off.”

         Dean raised his eyebrows and smiled brightly. “Shit, Cas. Take me out to diner first.” He mumbled as he went to his bathroom.

**//**

         The party was loud. And crowded. And full of people making out, pressed against the walls. Sweaty and drunk bodies tried to pass through Cas and Dean, who kept looking at each other, uncertainty filling their eyes.

         “Is it always like… _this_?” Dean got closer to Castiel, so he could hear him.

         Cas looked around him, quickly smelling the weed, vodka, and other scents he’d rather not know what were.

         “Not really,” he pushed his glasses up. “I’ve never seen a party like that on the beginning of the year.”

         As soon as they started to walk towards the kitchen, a pretty girl with brown hair, strong face features and sparkling dark eyes walked past them, looking at Dean from head to toe and smirking brightly making Dean furrow his eyebrows and tilt his head.

         Castiel laughed loudly at his friend’s reaction, putting one hand on Dean’s shoulder and looking at him sincerely.

         “You really are one of a kind, Dean.”

         “What’s that supposed to mean?”

         “One of the prettiest girls in school checks you out _shamelessly_ and you act like… that?”

         Dean shrugged and put his hands on his pockets, the lights on the top of the house distracting him and making his eyes wonder around the people.

         “Who? Amara? Nah… she’s not really my type.”

         Cas raised his eyebrows and moved his hand to Dean’s back, guiding him to where he’d just saw Alex and Claire.

         “So you have a type…” there was a bit of jealously on his words. “What is it, then?”

         “Well, first of all, boys. And some girls.”

         Castiel stopped walking and looked at Dean, tilting his head a little.

         “So are you…?”

         A shy smile appeared across Dean’s lips, who quickly looked down to look up again, meeting Castiel’s satisfied smile. Cas nodded contently, putting his hand back on Dean’s shoulder who smiled in relief.

         “Hey! You’re here!” Claire stopped to talk to Alex when she saw the boys arriving, a bright smile across her face. “I thought you wouldn’t come.”

         “Cassie wouldn’t come alone without his boyfriend, babe. Of course they’re here.” Alex slurred, almost dropping her red cup multiple times.

         “Excuse her.” Claire took the cup off her friend’s hand, giving her a look. “Alex already had _way_ too many drinks, right Alex?”

         The brunette simply rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, mumbling a “whatever”.

          “Anyways…” Dean cleared his throat. “Where is everybody? Charlie, Bela, Gabe, Benny?”

         “Charlie was talking to some blonde chick, Bela stayed at home, Gabe and Benny must have already taken some girls to their houses so—“

         Claire was interrupted when an excited red-haired showed up in the middle of them, smiling and jumping like an excited puppy.

         “Guess who just talked to Jo Fucking Harvelle _and_ have a sort of date with her next week?” her eyes were sparkling and searching for any kind of expression on her friend’s faces.

“Anyone? Anyone? No one’s answering? Okay.” Charlie shrugged her shoulders and looked down, her fake disappointment disappeared quickly once her eyes lit up again. “Charlie Fucking Bradburry!”

Cas smiled brightly and raised his eyebrows impressed; Charlie has been talking about going out with Jo ever since she saw her on the first day of Junior year. He could even risk it and say that Charlie was in love with her.

“Wait,” Dean started “Harvelle? Jo Harvelle?”

“Yeah, green eyes. Why?” Charlie got even closer to Dean so he could hear her.

“Her mom helped my dad out with some shit when we moved here. I could set up something for you two if you want to? I mean, if the date goes ri--”

Charlie wrapped her arms around his waist, mumbling multiple “thank you”s against his chest. Dean threw his head back laughing loudly, which Castiel definitely didn’t miss.

“Y’all want to get this party started or whah?” Alex stumbled on her words and took her cup off Claire’s hand. “C’mon! Let’s dance!” she took the blue eyed girl by the hand and ran to the dance floor – which was just the living room with the couches and the table pushed away.

“Yeah! Let’s go!” Charlie screamed happily and followed her friends.

         “Are you coming?” Cas leaned closer to Dean and whispered-yelled in his ear, licking his lips afterwards – making Dean bit his.

         “I’ll get something to drink first.” He smiled weakly and only left after Castiel nodded, tapping his shoulder as Dean went to the kitchen.

         The environment was too crowded and too _loud_ for Dean to feel comfortable; he didn’t even know if the hands travelling through his waist were on purpose or not and where were those unwanted touches coming from.

         His mind eased a little when he saw a full bottle of vodka on the kitchen sink, probably not even opened yet. Dean learned to drink at an age he was not proud of – not that it wasn’t handy on unpleasant times like those. His father mistook his milk with whiskey countless times, and 6 months old Dean Winchester didn’t took those accidents for granted.

         After reaching out for a red cup and serving himself a good amount of the transparent drink, Dean went back to the living room and the first thing he sees was Cas moving his hips in such smooth and confident movements he could swear his pants got a little tighter for a few seconds.

         Castiel had his eyes closed and a happy smirk on his face, biting and licking his lips every once in a while. The song rhythm made everything feel like those slow motion and blurry dreams, where everything is happening too slow and too fast at the same time. Or maybe was the several sips from the alcohol.

         Cas opened his eyes and saw Dean looking at him, his smirk quickly becoming a brighter smile. He mentioned for his friend to come near him with his fingers and Dean didn’t hesitate on leaving his cup on the kitchen counter.

         He walked over Castiel, quickly smelling the vodka coming from his friend as well when they got closer.

         “So, you enjoying this?” Cas mindlessly placed his hands on Dean’s waist and pulled him closer by his shirt, making a breath get caught on his throat.

         “Yeah… yeah. I—“

         “You’re nervous.” Cas cut him off.

         _Of course I’m nervous your hands are on my waist and our noses are almost touching._

“I’m nervous? C’mon. What makes you say that?”

         Cas shrugged his shoulders and looked down, before meeting Dean’s eyes once again with a playful smile taking place on his lips.

         “Then put your hands on my shoulder.”

         Dean sighed before starting. “Cas, I swear, if this is about the…”

         Castiel threw his head back laughing, accidentally (not really) pulling Dean’s body even closer to his, making their hipbones touch. Green eyes looked up awkwardly after feeling the strong alcohol scent coming from Cas’ mouth. _That explains all the flirty actions._

“It’s not.” Castiel begun, and Dean raised one eyebrow with an interrogative look. “It’s not! I’ve always liked to be close to you,”

         “Okay then. Don’t make me regret believing in you.”

         “I would never.”

         For a few hours, Dean allowed himself to not care about anything. He let the feeling of being drunk _and_ next to Cas sink in his chest, and enjoyed the moment.

         The loud music and confusing lights made him a little dizzy after having so many shots, so Dean decided to leave the house for a few minutes and sat on the porch. The night was cold and windy, but at least there was no one outside and the music wasn’t that disturbing.

         Cas soon noticed that his friend was gone, once he tried to take Dean’s hand and couldn’t find it anywhere near him. He looked around the house, trying to find a glimpse of a leather jacket or spiky hair, or maybe even green eyes mixed within the wasted crowd.

         “Have you seen Dean?” Castiel pulled Charlie closer to him, who took a few seconds to focus on the worried blue eyes.

         “Uhh… I think he left.”

         Cas tilted his head in pure confusion, and the red-haired girl simply shrugged her shoulders and went back to her dancing state. Castiel left the crowded area and went directly to the door, ignoring all the drunk breaths trying to say senseless things to him.

A cold wind greeted him as soon as he opened the door, to quickly find Dean sitting on the 3 steps stair, looking up to the starry clear sky.

“Mind if I join you?”

Dean turned his head, and smiled happily at the sight of Cas with his hands on his front pockets, glasses at the tip of his delicate nose, due to the careless crowd. “Please do.”

The step they were seating on was relatively large, easily fitting two people without making them touch. That was not the case for them.

Dean’s jacket created a comfortable and already known contact on Cas’ bare arm, making him completely forget about the chilly night. Dean felt Castiel’s cold fingertips through his jeans once his hand rested on the other boy’s knee, making both hearts get heavier with the expectation of a possible corresponding touch. A smiled creep through Castiel’s lips once he felt Dean’s fingers touch his wrist, drawing invisible circles with his thumb.

It was probably the alcohol, or the stars so bright above them, knees purposely touching, the fact that Dean had his hands so close to Cas’ face, even if just for 2 seconds, after fixing his glasses, maybe it was a wish building up inside their brains that they _knew_ it was wrong and that their parents would _kill_ them if they ever knew, or maybe it was exactly all the _wrongs_ in that scenario, that made both of them get up and run to Dean’s car knowing exactly where they would be heading without any words needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading!!  
> twitter: @halseybullshit  
> xx  
> Lia


	6. five

The car ride was silent, but not the awkward one. The radio was playing old classic rock on a low volume – as usual. As they got closer to downtown, red, purple, and blue lights travelled through Cas’ face and chest, creating electric paintings on his body. Dean was forcing himself to look at what was in front of him, not beside him – even though that sight was way more pleasing.

         “What do you _do,_ Cas?” pinky lips suddenly let the question pass through them, getting the other boy’s attention.

         “What do you mean what I _do_?”

         “I only went to your house to study, and when I see you outside school-related stuff is usually like ice cream or coffee or the beach. And trust me, I like doing that. A lot. But… what do _you_ like to do?”

         “I paint.”

         “Oh,” Dean started with a wide smile on his face. “That explains the green paint I saw on your hair the other day.”

         Cas giggled, before allowing a complete laughter fill the car – in which Dean couldn’t help but join him.

         “And you? What do you _do_?”

         “I… take pictures.”

         “Of…?”

         “I don’t know, man.” Dean let out a giggled. “Thinks I want to keep, I guess?”

         “Have you ever taken a picture of me?”

         “Have you ever painted me?”

         Playful smirks took place on their lips. Cas rested his head on the seat, breathing deeply and looking at Dean, only to find the green eyes looking back at him.

         The loud waves announced they had arrived at the beach. Dean stopped the Impala on a parking spot where there was only a few steps separating the concrete from the sand. They took the seatbelts off, and before Dean could leave the car, Castiel said:

         “Hold on,” He waited for Dean to close the door and pay attention to him. “…first one who gets to the sea wins!”

         With that, Cas left the car in a heartbeat. The salty wind against his face made his eyes burn a little, but he couldn’t care less. He keep hearing Dean’s screams; “that was not fair man!”, and he kept running and running, until the water got the end of his pants wet.

         “I won!” Cas turned around, seeing Dean laughing and raising his hands in surrender.

         “Alright, alright… If thinking that you won _unfairly_ makes you sleep better at night.”

         They stood in that position for a few seconds; chests raising and falling quickly, fast heartbeats, wet shoes, a white reflection of the moon separating them. No one knew what time it was, or where their friends thought they were, or what was even happening at that point. They just knew it felt _right_.

         Dean was the first to give up and sit on the sand, bringing his arms closer to his body when the cold wind hit him. Cas sat beside him soon after, burrowing his head on Dean’s shoulder, but only because it was too cold, right?

         They only realized they were sitting on the beach at God knows when in the morning, with wet socks and thin jackets after a few minutes they had relaxed a bit. Dean started laughing quietly, shaking his head.

         “What?” Cas asked, giggling as well.

         “What the fuck are we even doing?”

         They were both smiling half happily, half slightly tired.

         “We… we are doing something kind of crazy, right?” He took his head off Dean’s shoulder and looked at the ocean. “I mean, we will obviously get sick and I didn’t even tell Charlie we were leaving the party and…”

         “Stop worrying, Cas. Everything is fine. Enjoy doing something you’ve never done for a little while.”

         Blue eyes were still shinning, even though it was dark. Castiel had those bright-full-of-hope eyes, making it look like he was always expecting something to happen. Truth is, in that moment, he really was. And Dean understood that.

         When you kiss someone for the first time, it’s always interesting to notice the expression on their faces before the so waited touch happens. Is it fear? Is it happiness? Is it disappointment? Is it regret? Is it relief? You never know, and that is what makes everything so _new._

Hands were shaking when they softly held Cas’ waist, bringing him closer. Blue eyes were fixedly staring at the green ones, and when they finally met, Dean leaned in just enough for their lips to brush quickly. But he backed off.

         “It’s okay.” Cas whispered, putting his hand behind Dean’s head and pulling him closer once again.

         They could never forget the expression on each other’s faces when they kissed for the first time. No words –or photographs or paintings, for that matter- could describe the genuine beauty behind soft smiles in between deeper kisses, and noses accidentally touching.

         There was no sounds on the car other than a low static Rolling Stones song. The first rays of sunlight filling their laps, anxious fingers tapping on the steering wheel and purple knuckles being looked at to avoid possible eye contact. It was everything but awkward, still, the thought of any sort of interaction made them sick to their stomachs.

         Both of them were not saying anything with their lips, but everything with their eyes; _For how long have you been waiting for me to do that? Are you pissed I hesitated? I’m sorry my hands were shaking. Will that happen again?_

_I hope so._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading!!  
> twitter: @halseybullshit  
> xx  
> Lia


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